Friday, August 24, 2007


Our moles have learned that Rodeo, from "Rock of Love with Brett Michaels" fame, showed up at the Star Bar last night during a show featuring local Atlanta bands. Obviously wasted, (we suspect a combo of booze, coke, and steroids) she was parading around screaming "RODEO'S IN THE HOUSE".

Eyewitnesses report that what was even more alarming were her continuous blatant attempts to seduce a man that may or may not have been William Zabka (i.e. bad boy Johnny Lawrence from Karate Kid as well as the lead in Python II). Obviously attempting to date up, we're curious to see if Rodeo can lasso herself this dreamboat.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Whose Rack is That?

This socialite has been seen all over town recently flashing her obviously enhanced lady parts. We see what a perfect job your plastic surgeon did, but do you really need to be such an attention whore? Find out who can't stop begging for attention after the jump...

Yep, that's right...Alpo Dog Food heiress, C.Cook just can't stay out of the spotlight. She's been seen all over town canoodling with countless eligible (and ineligible) bachelors. They claim Alpo is for "the real meat lover in the family"...seems to me Miss. Cook was raised according to family tradition.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Thank you to Coleman, the greatest name in camping gear, for showing that their air mattresses are not only fun, but sturdy. New fathers Marlow and Ben take a break from newly adopted daughter, Lindsay Loran, by enjoying a night out on the pavement of their Midtown apartment.
These glowing life-partners are obviously here to stay!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Dicks in Vick

We here at ATLWeekly are committed to reporting up-to-date credible news that not only entertains you, but educates you. In light of the recent charges against Michael Dwayne Vick, we'd like to extend our high hopes that....for the rest of his living years, he shites blood from being gang raped up the ass repeatedly while in prison.
That is all.

Who Wore It Best?

With the success of Dancing With the Stars, Billy Ray has taken the fashion world by storm. J.C. Penney reported record sales so far this August...and the months not over!!! So you tell us...which of these latest trendsetters wore it best?

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Celebrity Sighting!

Which way-past-ex's were caught canoodling at a local Joe's Crab Shack? Why none other than Mr. and Ms. Bobby Brown. We can only imagine the conversation went something like this:

Whit: Damn, Bob, we high.
Bobby: Yeah, girl. You should get out there and shake the shack.
Whit: You mean we in a shack? Shack is whack!
Bobby: Oh, shut it bitch. Give me 'dem crabs.

Local eyewitnesses snapped this photo, which we promptly stole from TMZ. We can't be everywhere, all-right?!

Double Dose of Dave

An undisclosed source informs us that local artist, David P, is being stalked by a man that looks just like him. The only discerning difference is the imposter's red, burning eyes. We don't know about you, but that throwback Thriller shit ain't cutting it these days. Dude needs to toss some ice water on those retinas before trying to mimic our man!

It's On!

Despite a calm few days, it looks like our favorite fuedsters aren't ready to lay anything to rest just yet. Local Liverdude, Matty Weave, took his anger to the stage to let us know he ain't going down without a real fight. Will Ben seek retaliation...or quietly accept their fate as eternal frenemies?

Friday, August 3, 2007

Thank You Dry Ink!

We, at ATLWeekly, would like to extend our deepest thanks to our friends and colleagues at Dry Ink Magazine for hooking us up with our first advertisement! We'd also like to thank Matty Weave for his amazing photoshop abilities. He almost killed us after five drafts...he used the word "Christ" a lot when we requested changes...but wasn't it worth it?!

So, go check em' out...they rock. DRY INK

Foes Not Bros? What Happened???

In happier times, you could often see Ben and Matty together discussing important issues such as up-and-coming popular baby names or having a friendly debate over Whole Foods versus Trader Joes.
So, what happened to these former bff's? Insiders tell us that after an intense fight ensued at a local nightspot, Ben put the final nail in the coffin by screaming "Blondie Crotch" to Matt, drawing unwanted attention and provoking what looks to be a major rift that could forever impact the scene. An anonymous reader captured these pictures of the ex-duo having it out.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Dark, Disturbing, and Dangerously Hip

Former American Idol semi-finalist Laura Scott sure adds new meaning to "cutting edge". Never one to leave her party girl image behind (remember the Rob Schneider scandal?), she was seen at El Bar late into the wee hours on Tuesday. Since becoming the new face of Ross, this red-head keeps us guessing. What will she do next?

Shocking and Unbelievable!

After 12 hours of intensive monitoring, it has been reported that K-Hutch is finally out of the I.C.U. after being knocked upside the head by a walnut Wednesday afternoon.

Eyewitnesses claim that prior to the perpetrator being identified, K-Hutch professed that a homeless man had thrown a rock at her head. Apparently a squirrel was spotted moments later playing overhead.

Nobody Puts Mama in the Corner

Fresh out of rehab, seems like Matt-T is up to his old tricks. After winning an Emmy for his portrayal of Jacque Burman on the hit daytime series General Hospital, Matt-T seemed unable to handle his new heart throb status by turning to hookers and hooch.

Always eager to steal the spotlight, his famewhore mom, Liz-Z tries once again to shield her son from the press only to draw attention to herself.
Denial, denial, denial...seems these two apples fell from the same tree.