Thursday, February 28, 2008

Pop! Pop!

There's a turf war rising up in the back streets of the ATL. Seems the city folks are angry at Decatur for letting peeps drink 'til 4am. What started as an innocent egging of Trackside has now turned into a full blown conflict. And it looks like things are about to get worse...


Two Criplantans were seen at the Walmart on Howell Mill stocking up on new Ammo. Guess they really want those Dick-haters to know 2am is it! Watch your back, people. Your antique stores and Ruby Tuesdays ain't got nothing on Atlantic Station.

American Loser

Today at ATL headquarters, Fantasia Barino has stopped by and is belting out tracks in another room preparing for her upcoming tour. Our office is typically flushed with informants, today being no exception. One of our whistle-blowers, now deaf too, had the following synopsis of her vocal ability..."it's like a wild horse being stabbed over and over". We agree.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Duluth Hookers Revealed

Everyone remembers the prostitution ring that wreaked havoc amongst Duluth residents back in January of last year. Loud parties, sexily clad women in the driveway, constant cUMings and goings...but it wasn't till den madams, "Melissa Wolf" (former Penthouse Pet) and "Naughty Nikki" got busted on the www for advertising services that ranged from $300 one-hour photo shoots to "dream dates" that included 1 hour sHOws...that feces hit the fan (run-on-sentence).

The Sugarloaf Country Club mansion was raded and months later these LET.ME.SUCK.YOU.RAW residents were indicted on drug, prostitution, and racketeering charges. Oddly enough you thought this story was over...until now.

Exclusively we've learned that top ATL HO-NO's KHutch and LizBo have been questioned by authorities in connection with this ring. Incriminating photos of their excapades were seized when the APD invaded their homes, and we must say, we're pretty convinced these laIDes have definitely been poking someone-not-right's pickle.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Morning Aches


The Three-Legged Cowboy Club reunited last night for their annual manhole meeting at The Earl. Spies snapped a shot of the events' most flavorful attention-grabbers. After this pic was taken, we're told they backed-up to the bar where they deep-throated Sex on the Beach shooters, then rushed over to Traders for their Buy-One-Take-3/4-Off Sale.

Lip Augmentation?

Is it just us, or are these two having work done?

Sign This Shit


You'd think it was 1908 and we were still makin' snake juice in backwoods moonshine stills. But it ain't. It's 2008 and we need to get us some beer on Sundays.

If not for the comment below alone, please sign the petition HERE to allow for Sunday alcohol sales:

"We're clearly going to respond. We have to," said Georgia Christian Coalition President Jim Beck. "We will obviously be letting everybody know the death merchants are back at work."

Do they not know that we're still up Sunday morning so technically it's still Saturday to us!

Sign it.

Who's More Hood?




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As rival gangs continue to stir up trouble, Atlantans are being forced to pick sides. The city is way scared. These bad motherfuckers are obviously threatening and capable of imposing grave danger on innocent civilians. Be careful out there.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Whose Got Atlanta's Biggest Bulge?

We sited this local Atlantanite leaving the Golds Gym in Duluth on Tuesday night and couldn't help but notice that his muscles are pumping. We're sure he's put in long hours of hard work, and that steroids have not been a factor. Can you recognize who owns these muscle-pulsing-tan-rocks-of-steal? Find out who after the jump.

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That's right, a drastic change from his normal streetwear look, P. Hill really goes to great lengths to keep his bod undercover. We predict these efforts are for warding off the voluptuous rock star types that he is constantly in contact with. Which look do you prefer? Should P.Hill keep it covered or take it all off?

Wonders of the Web

Sick Circus Tricks. Make a Donation. http://english.savechinastigers.org/